My grandpa used to read me bedtime stories, but because he was both dyslexic and a drunk it turns out that he would just hold a book in front of his face and make shit up in a whiskey fueled haze til I fell asleep or he passed out, whichever came first. Thus I was 25 before I found out that Tinkerbell did not, in fact, live in Peter Pan's asshole and that he got his magical flying powers from the way her feathery wings would tickle his anus.
Seeing Hook was a real eye opener I can tell you that. I have a lot to be thankful to Julia Roberts for. Life has been grand since I've been disabused of the myth that Peter Pan had a fairy in his rectum, and that whores are generally mean and disease ridden. Some whores are pretty women, who wear pretty brown dresses and don't take any crap from that little fat dude from Seinfeld.
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