Flowers

I went to the florist cause I saw on a sitcom the girl was really impressed when her guy got her flowers. I figured if I showed up with a dozen roses or something I would get fellatio, cause on the sitcom the girl and guy disappeared behind a door giggling and it seemed like she was ready to give him head, though you can't show that on regular TV so I had to just guess.

In any case I was all excited to give it a try but when I got to the flower shop I realized I didn't have a girl to give the flowers too. The florist was looking at me standing there with my money in my fist and asked if I needed help. It was then that I decided to eliminate the middle man, or in this case middle woman, who was actually young and seemed foreign, the two things I look for most in a girl.

Since I figured she wouldn't be too impressed with a gift of flowers, considering she is around them all day and probably gets an awesome discount, I thought she might be more keen to getting cash. I stuck the wad of bills in her face and asked if she would be so kind as to give me a blowjob.

That was the 4Th time I was arrested for solicitation, though I called it bargaining and getting to the point. The judge was not impressed with my "they're all whores" defense, and didn't care that I had asked for head so politely.