Bus Trip with my Girl

I was going through my girlfriend's purse on the bus the other day...by girlfriend I mean the woman who happened to be asleep in the seat next to me on the way to Kalamazoo. The way I saw it though, since there were a lot of empty seats and she chose to sit next to me, that kind of means she must have wanted to be with me, at least for the duration of the trip. Was it because I looked harmless and there was a weird bearded dude pissing himself in the back or was I looking sharp in my new hat?

Whatever the case, when she dozed off I thought I would be a good boyfriend and go through her purse so I could find out things about her, her likes and dislikes, so I could be a better mate, and we could have things to talk about when she woke up.

I found her vibrator. She was kind of shocked when she opened her eyes and saw it in my mouth. I tried to put her at ease by popping it out and saying the only reason I was sucking on it is cause I was thirsty and I didn't want to wake her and ask for change to buy a drink.

She just kind of froze and gritted her teeth. I then tried to brighten the situation by telling her that her toy was very juicy, and that is a sign of good health on her part. She snatched her purse back and started to rummage though it. "Where is my mace?" she asked.

I had already removed her mace and sold it to the drunk in the back, who was amusing himself with it. Anyway I figured she wouldn't need mace anymore cause now she had a boyfriend to protect her.

"Don't worry baby," I assured her, "I was watching some judo competition on tv last week, so you won't be needing mace. You want me to defend you from that drunk in the back? Just wait for him to attack and I'll use my judo."

She scratched my eyes and grabbed her vibrator back, which she then bonked me on the head with, causing the batteries to fly out and roll to the front of the bus.

She screamed but I tried to calm her down, even though my face was bleeding. "Don't worry about those batteries baby. Now that you have a boyfriend you won't need a sex toy anymore. Let's sell it to the drunk. I got a good price for the mace."

She screamed and scratched me again but the drunk had gotten wind of a possible vibrator purchase and came to my aid by spraying the mace. Unfortunately, most likely due to his inebriated state, his aim was off and the taste of her pussy in my mouth was replaced with mace taste. I started to gag but before I could vomit the bus jolted to a halt and I was seized by the driver who rudely tossed me off.

I suppose he didn't want his bus sullied with my sputum and so I found myself stranded on a lonely roadside, blinded and bleeding, 50 miles from Kalamazoo and single once again.