I've always liked science, I guess that's why arson has always been my favorite crime. Simple assault with a deadly weapon is so crude, but when you put on a lab coat and goggles and take the time to mix chemicals and compounds in order to cause a massive combustion you get filled with a sense of awe and accomplishment.
I like to pretend I'm a professor and teaching a class when I set a building ablaze. Insurance fraud sounds so dull and lame, and you won't be so cool in prison among the murderers and bank robbers who always brag about their glamorous crimes. But if you commit your fraud by causing entire blocks of buildings to erupt in flame and burn to a million cinders then you can strut around the cell block like the prettiest peacock in the penitentiary. "Oh you shot a guy? Big deal. Any child with a finger and a thumb can pull a trigger and blow his best friends brains out in a tragic accident, but it takes knowledge and a love of science to put on cool goggles and mix chemicals and put them in just the right places so the building burns to the ground and the owners can cash in."
Those thoughts console me as I'm being pummeled and sodomized by the meaner inmates.
No comments:
Post a Comment