I think I saw Jan Michael Vincent on the bus today. He looked tanned, rested and homeless. I'm pretty sure it was Jan Michael, as amazing as it seems to have a mega-legend like him on the bus. Maybe mega-legend is an overstatement, but I don't want to use the phrase washed up degenerate. He looked kind of filthy, but not so bad.
Come to think of it maybe it wasn't Jan Michael at all. Would baby jesus allow Jan Michael to fall so low as to ride the bus instead of being driven around in a Ferrari by some model who doesn't wear panties while she drives?
It reminds me of my high school yearbook quote. A lot of kids wrote something stupid like, "DRAFT BEER NOT SOLDIERS", or quoted some lame ass band, "Every rose has it's thorn...". I bet they looked back years later and thought, "Jesus I was so fucking lame. No wonder I had no friends and my parents got divorced and that kid hit me in the face with that brick. I could have put anything under my photo, and I picked something so unoriginal. Maybe I should have committed suicide as a sophomore after all."
Well I didn't want that to happen to me, so I made sure to pick something profound, and that would stand the test of time, and so I resorted to scripture. I was kind of busy when the deadline to submit quotes was coming around, as one of my neighbors was in the habit of sunbathing topless in her backyard, and so I just flipped open the bible and scribbled down a random quote.
"...behold now, I have two daughters, which have not known man, let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes; only unto those men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof." Genesis 19: 7-8
I thought it looked kind of neat under my yearbook picture. Not that I believed in god or anything, that's pretty stupid, but I thought a bible quote was classy. My educators didn't think so, they were pretty upset and wanted to have me expelled, but how could they since I quoted the good book, even if the quote was about Lot wanting to pacify a bunch of dudes who wanted to sodomize angels, and he offered his virgin daughters to be raped instead.
It's a funny book the bible, after the controversy that surrounded my quote I actually went and read the next couple of pages of scripture, and found out that Lot's daughters got him drunk and took turns having sex with him until he impregnated them both.
The priests and nuns were kind of embarrassed when I asked questions about this.
They seemed upset when I said that I didn't think there really was a god either, cause I thought I'm not a god, but I could do a better job of making a world if I was.
"And how would you do that?"
"Well for one, you wouldn't be in it."
That was a pretty funny comeback, but man did it make those nuns and priests angry.
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