Cream cream cream

You're most likely an idiot. Most people are you know, or don't know, cause you're stupid. Napoleon knew it. That is why he had no qualms about mowing your ancestors down with cannonballs. I don't care if your ancestors weren't from Europe, you're still most likely dumb.

Take the woman I saw in the mall today. She was laden with shopping bags, and she waddled from side to side, swaying to and fro, fat and happy with her purchases. A salesgirl stopped her in front of a cart and started to pitch some bullshit cream. I saw the woman's eyes widen as she listened to the pitch, widen in a way I didn't think possible unless someone were to wave a hamburger in front of her floppy face.

I took time out from ogling better looking broads to listen to the salesgirl. She scooped some cream and held it on her fingers, then gently pulled the fat woman's arm towards her, and started rubbing it into her elbow. Apparently it was some miracle cream from the banks of some faraway sea that would have a tremendous effect on this woman's elbows. The fat shopper was eating up the salesgirl's words as if they were chocolate covered candy drops. I could see the thoughts racing through her mind in her shining eyes. "I have always neglected my elbows haven't I?"

She was fat and in her 50s, and had probably churned out a kid or two. Who gave a fuck what her elbows looked like? Did she really think that elbow cream would have any positive influence on her life, or the lives of those around her? Would it improve her existence in the slightest?

I was shocked to see her buy the jar, and longed for something heavy to throw at her. As if that bullshit cream even worked. Even if it did, did she really expect anyone, anywhere, at any time, to offer any kind of complimentary words, "Hey Sue! Hmm is there something different about you? Did you have work done you rascal?"

"Well," she would demure, face aglow with pride.

"Did your...are your elbows different?"

"I got this cream..."

"I can fucking tell! Wow, those elbows look amazing! And here I thought you were old, fat and ugly, but now I see you have some dynamite fucking elbows."

"Only 65 bucks a jar."

"A bargain."

It reminds me of all those plutocrats like Cheney. They are old and close to death, but continue to employ honest graft to make millions more they'll never spend. To what end? I don't understand why they would waste their days, going from the golf course to the heart surgeon to the board room, engaging in shady deals so they can line their pockets with money they don't need, and then go home to their fat ugly wives. Is it worth it? At least develop a drug habit, or fuck an endless procession of young floozies, but to be so devoid of morality and to ceaselessly pursue wealth at the expense of justice just so you can wear the same blue suit as every other asshole you know and fuck a woman who is overweight, ugly, and indistinguishable from all the other wives of your fellow dumb-asses...it just doesn't make sense.

I can see why Cheney might have lashed out and shot a fellow asshole that time...he must have been so tired of his disgusting wife, and his closet full of dull suits. To think that he had worked his whole life, and amassed such a fortune, and been condemned as corrupt and immoral, all so he could occasionally hunt quail, or golf once in a while, and then go home to his unappealing spouse. I bet if he could do it over again he would be a truck driver, or a sanitation worker, or anything that wouldn't give him a succession of heart attacks and some dumpy broad that drives him to shoot his friend in the face.