Whenever I happen upon a dead body I always assume the person has been murdered. Does one usually drop dead out of sight and mind of others, waiting for me to come upon them? No. So when I was ambling through my favorite alley one day and came across a corpse that wasn't encrusted in filth and didn't have a knife embedded in the back I thought it somewhat strange. I started to nudge the body with my foot..."Were you poisoned? Yoo hoo? Were you poisoned?"
For some reason I was almost singing my query, and then I stopped and kind of laughed at myself, cause the person was dead and obviously couldn't hear my question. It was then I noticed that my gentle nudges had left a little blemish on the corpse's silk blouse. "My that will hurt the resale value," I thought. And as the rats twittered amidst the refuse surrounding us I let my mind wander back to that Japanese girl who said she would die if I did not return.
She loved me, but she loved her fried chicken more, and when I told her that after heading to KFC I was going straight to the racetrack she screamed, "No!"
There even seemed to be tears in her eyes when she yelled it. "You must come back!"
"But I'll miss some races that way."
"I want some fucking chicken so bad. And a biscuit." She clutched her belly through her silk shirt as though she was trying to prevent a parasite from burrowing through and escaping. "I feel like I'll die if you don't come back with some chicken for me."
I grimaced. "You won't really die though. Have some peanut butter."
She let forth such a horrible scream that I worried my parole officer would hear it, even though I had no idea if he was even in town. "I will fucking bludgeon you to death with this jar of Peter Pan if you don't come back. Please! Just tell me you'll return."
I looked at her. "That jar is plastic and its empty. You couldn't really bludgeon me with it. Feel how light it is."
She fingered the last remnants of the peanut butter and smeared it all over her lovely silk blouse. "You are doing this to me! You! My favorite silk blouse! You are making me do this!"
She was a wily one that Japanese chick. She knew how much I loved to lick peanut butter off of her nipples. "Hmm, maybe I'll come back. Don't ruin your blouse though, it's Christmas tomorrow and you have to wear that in the choir."
She knelt on the floor and clutched her breasts and nodded. "I'll take it off. I don't want no chicken grease on it either."
She was smart that Japanese chick.
I looked down at the body. I wondered if she had been smart too. Not smart enough to avoid dying in this alley I guess.
